If you think that it’s easy for me to be confident, courageous,
and feel good about my body, the reality used to be a complete opposite.
It's never been easy for me to feel good in my own body. Not only because I don't fit in the "ideal" body type, but I'm also continually struggling with many health conditions.
My brown tanned skin isn't favoured nor considered to be beautiful in Indonesia; I used to wish for different facial features (that can match the girls who are dominating the media); and as you can see on the photo below, I'm rather short.
During art performance, my teacher would always place me in the front row, as I was the shortest. Yep, I'm the one from the second left.
There were times where I used to apply a whitening body scrub every day and only put moisturiser that promised a white skin—hoping that I'd be more confident with myself and that others would love and appreciate me.
Things get tougher when I was 19 years old (2009). A year after my mom passed away, I found out that I have scoliosis. Not only my spine is bent like an S letter (the curvature has reached 35 degrees), it was also rotated.
X-ray result of my spine.
A Challenging Health Imbalances
Due to this condition, it wasn't comfortable to sit straight for more than 10 minutes as my spine would start to hurt. I even convinced my dad to buy me that "as seen on tv" spine traction machine, but that still didn't change anything.
The doctor's diagnosis and advice didn't help to build my positivity either. They said that each year the curvature would increase and the pain would only become worse. It also means that I'd get shorter as time goes by due to gravity.
The only thing that can help to prevent the increase of the curvature of my spine is to use a brace. But unfortunately, it's not a sustainable solution either.
Besides the fact that it's not comfortable, the doctor said that it wouldn't correct the imbalance significantly for my case.
The only 'cure' that the doctor recommended me to do is to perform a spine surgery, where they'll insert a metal rod on my spine to straighten it.
And example of a scoliosis brace.
The metal rod along the spine to fix scoliosis.
When I heard that, I lost hope that I'd ever feel truly happy with my body, and my life. Not only the surgery is expensive (at that time, it cost more than $10,000, which I couldn't afford), it also has a high risk. Since our spine is the 2nd part of our body that has the most nervous system, and if they screw up, worst-case scenario, I might not be able to walk again.
As if it can't get worse for a girl in her early 20s with her low self-esteem issue, a year after I found out about my scoliosis (2010), I gained weight (7 kgs!), and for the first time, I got a pretty severe acne breakout. This happened after I lived abroad for three months. And knowing what I know now, it's due to the poor diet and lifestyle that I had there.
But miraculously, this misery began to shift in 2012.
The year when my transformation began.
The Turning Point
In 2012, I decided to take a break from law school. I lost my passion for the subject and felt confused about where I was and what I wanted to do in my life. I felt the need to pursue something that can bring happiness back into my life.
Gladly, I got an opportunity to move to Ubud - Bali for a teaching job. But my move to Ubud was more than just for work purpose.
It was a chance for me to figure out my life and connect with my true self. It was about finding the love that I thought I lost: the love that I have for myself and the love that I receive from others.
Couple of weeks before my teaching job ended, I met a man with whom I shared a beautiful marriage for 5.5 years. And amongst the many things that he's expertise at, he introduced me to a healing system called Ayurveda.
And this is when the transformation began.
Back in 2010 (left), and after applying the principles of Ayurveda (right), on weight loss and diet for my body type.
I never knew that my diet & lifestyle could give a tremendous effect to my acne. No make-up or digital edit on the right photos.
Five years transformation of my spine. No digital edit or manipulation done to these photos.
Ayurveda is the miracle that created the transformation in my life, which is the core of what I'm sharing through my work.
Fast forward to now, I'm trained in Ayurveda and Yoga therapy, also certified in various bodywork techniques.
When it comes to my healing, I now rarely feel the usual pain along my spine (and it looks incredibly straight!). My weight came back to the healthier side, and my skin cleared up. And most importantly, every time I look at myself in the mirror, I no longer wished that I can be somebody else. I'm happy to be born as me!
CERTIFICATIONS & COURSES
Wellness Courses & Retreats:
ACADEMIC BACKGROUND & ACHIEVEMENTS
My Offering for You
I always thought that there must be a reason why I live. I don't think I was born to merely follow the typical path of going to school, get a job, get married, have kids, and die.
For years I wonder why I was born in my family with its way of upbringing and values. I didn't choose to be a citizen of a developing country, and yet I get to travel the world, an experience that many Indonesian could only dream of.
I also know that there are many people out there who might not be as lucky as I am — receiving the right support system for my healing process.
Which is why I found my calling.
Through my work, I'd like to share with you the secrets and tools that have changed and improved my life tremendously. The combination of timeless wisdom and modern knowledge that I learned from many great teachers around the world, which has shifted my life to a state where I never thought was possible.
In short, my role here is to share back what I received with you. Connecting you with the wisdom that not many people has access to, and make it even more applicable in this busy, modern living.
After all, what makes life meaningful is our ability to share with others.
I hope to share more with you,
The lovely souls who came to my very first Ayurvedic Beauty workshop in 2016, in Bandung - Indonesia.
Group photo at the end of my very first Soul Purpose workshop in 2016, in Jakarta - Indonesia.